i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
