the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
