yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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