I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
