There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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