It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
