her vagine was all disorganized.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
