Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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