I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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