is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm at about main and main street
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
