She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
