"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
