If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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