grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
