So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
