Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
