Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
