why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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