Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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