I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
