is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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