I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
