dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
