why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
