I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
