if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
