Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
