you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
