So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
