Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
