Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
