I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
