Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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