I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
