Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
