I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
