I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
