Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
