God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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