Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
