? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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