I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
