you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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