The maid of honor just puked.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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