found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
