I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
