i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
