I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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