I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
