Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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