If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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