I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
