Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
