we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
