Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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