Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
